I see your star at night
by Aurora Denain
Summary: DH spoilers! If you have not read/finished the book do not read this!Hermione’s thoughts about what could have been and how she had waited too long.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the material in or regarding the novels. This is all the property of Jk Rowling.

AN: I just finished Deathly Hallows! I started reading at exactly 12:30 last night and finished it, with a short four hour break for sleep, at six o'clock this evening! So naturally, once I'd finished I'd felt the need to write a new fanfic. Nothing in depth just a little idea that popped in my head while I was reading the book. Totally and completely a random idea, only some of the stuff I mention happens/is revealed in DH.

Summery: DH spoilers! Do not read if you haven't read the book completely, it tells what happens, if not directly. Hermione's thoughts about what could have been and how she had waited too long.

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I see your star at night

When all is said and done in life there is always the nagging question of 'what if I'd done something different.' Not a bad question to ask oneself, especially not with all that had been seen by one Hermione Weasley, nee Granger, during her short seventeen years in the wizarding world. The war had been the worst of it, the deaths of friends mounting, the fear of death around every corner. She'd survived the war though and now seating by the window watching as night had just begun to fall over Ottery St. Catchpole she wondered if she were happy about that.

Life after the war had been interesting to say the least. The reformation of the ministry, the Death Eater hunts, the wall to wall chaos that had ensued after Harry had finally struck Voldemort dead. For nearly five years her days had been spent focusing on how to better the wizarding world for all, not only muggleborns but squibs, and those with magical conditions like lycanthropy. She'd needed the distraction in all honesty, needed the all consuming work load so that her mind never strayed back to the days before the war.

The memories were what got to her the most. The secrets that she had held deep inside of herself, afraid to let them go for fear of losing the meaning behind them forever. It was silly really, and she'd just been a child when it had happened, fifteen and freshly broken from one Viktor Krum. Maybe it had been the hectic atmosphere, the wonder of exactly what this war would mean for all of them. It could have been because he was older, more experienced in some ways. It could have simply been that house and that summer. What ever it was she had found herself madly in love.

She remembered how they would sneak up to the attic for stolen moments and stolen kisses. It had been up there one rainy afternoon while the house was practically empty on a transfigured blanket that she had given herself to him. Being a realist she had never thought she would be the type to romanticize sex but there had been something beautiful in the way they had come together.

The magic didn't last forever and soon they had been back at Hogwarts. The school work and the DA upon everything else gave them little time to sneak off together. He'd ended things a few short months later at the end of the year, claiming when school was over, when the war was over, then there would be something between them, something solid. He said he would make a life for himself and then they could have the life they had scarcely hoped for.

The next year had passed with not so much as a single letter, and she had tried to move on. She'd even tried to date other people, but in the end none could compar. She'd even tried to move her attention to Ron, a pale substitute but she had been willing to delude herself into thinking that he would do.

Summer approached, the Headmaster's death shook her nearly as much as seeing him at the funeral. She hadn't spoken to him, her heart still hurting from his easy exit from her life. Sometimes, late at night she wondered how things would have been different if she had talked to him that day. She usually discarded such thoughts quickly, well aware that it was unhealthy to linger over such things for to long.

Summer arrived and her retraction from muggle life all together. Sharing such close quarters again that summer was proofing to be even more difficult then she thought it would be. Even if he was not there at all times it was still too painful. That had also been the time when Ron was waiting not so patiently for her to decide if she did indeed want what seemed to developed between them. She did love Ron, like a brother, a best friend but she knew she would never love him in the same way.

Then, the night before the wedding he had cornered her out by the chicken coops. "We need to talk." he'd said in that husky voice he got when ever he whispered to her. She'd felt her knees go weak at just those few words. She hadn't had the strength to reply but she'd nodded and they'd ducked into the shed to escape any prying eyes. The talking had never happened, instead they had made love right there against the wall of that dirty shed, and Merlin help her but it had been the best night of her life. They'd whispered praise and words of love against each other's skin and she'd snuck back to Ginny's room just as dawn was scraping the horizon.

There had been stolen glances, and a single heated kiss stolen upstairs while preparing for the ceremony. This was what she had been waiting for, the promise that he still wanted her, that they would someday have the flat in London he had promised years before. Then the Death Eaters came. She'd reacted so quickly, getting herself and the boys out of there that she hadn't had a second to glance back. It wasn't in till that night as she lay on the floor of 13 Grimmald Place, holding Ron's hand in silent support did she allow herself to think about what could have happened. Sleep had been hard to come by that night but when it finally grasped her, her dreams where filled with him.

The months slipped away after that. Winter came and went, and spring quickly followed. Being on the run had left little time for wandering thoughts but every stray thought was about him. When they had finally made their way back to Hogwarts it was the first time in almost a year that she had seen him. By Merlin had he looked gorgeous in the few fleeting moment she had seen him. She hadn't even gotten a chance to catch his eye before all hell broke loose.

Much later, after Voldemort was dead, and Ron had declared his feelings Hermione had stood in the hall outside of the Great Hall looking at her fallen friends. Looking at _him_. Laying there on the cold stone floor, eyes, brilliant blue, closed forever. Her heart had ached for hours, her eyes filling with tears that refused to be shed. She'd refused to talk to anyone, especially after George had tried to comfort her only to have her go into hysterics. The months, and years following that had been difficult.

Staring up at the deep blue canvas of the sky Hermione whipped away the tears that had managed to work their way down her cheeks. Her eyes glanced at a particularly bright star that shone down at her, the star he had called theirs. She loved looking at it, remembering that night they had snuck out to look at the stars. She held those things close to her heart, closer then anything else. She had married Ron, yes, and though her heart would forever belong to another, his brother, she had settled for a marriage to one of her best friends, who loved her and accepted any love she offered him with out question. She knew it wasn't far, not really. That he didn't deserve to be trapped in a one sided marriage but she couldn't be alone, so she had settled.

The sound of soft foot step sounded from the door to the dinning room. Standing there, red hair braided, and teddy bear in hand stood her most precious gift, her Rose. She was Ron's daughter, yes, but there were times when Hermione could imagine that she wasn't, that she was her's and Fred's, their perfect Rose. Smiling at the sleepy girl Hermione opened her arms, allowing her daughter to slide into her lap. "What's wrong, Sweetheart? Did you have another bad dream?" she asked kissing her small head to comfort whatever the unknown fear was.

"I had a nightmare." Rose replied, extremely articulate for a four year old. "The knight died, trying to get back to the princess." Hermione felt tears welling in her eyes at her little girls words. She'd never believed in all the crap that was divination but she often wondered if her daughter was indeed a seer.

Picking up Rose Hermione stood and headed for the kitchen. "How about I get us both a nice glass of water and I tell you all about the time the brave knight fought the evil Toad, alright?" Hermione felt her nod her head against her shoulder. Walking into the kitchen Hermione began the tale. "Once upon a time, there was a great magician who could make dragons appear indoors, and move pixie lights with just an incantation. He was very powerful, and very smart. In fact some say, he was the brightest of his generation..." Neither the mother nor her child saw the silvery figure that gazed in through the window, eyes twinkling as he watched his love live on.

Fins.

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AN: There you go! For all of you who couldn't guess what the last part is about it's when the twins set loose their creation on Umbridge in OotP. I couldn't remember exactly what it was in the book but it was a dragon in the movies. Hope you enjoyed it! 


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